When I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was a mother. Sure, I played around with being a marine biologist (who knew you had to be good at science?!), and I would teach school to my dolls and stuffed animals. I dreamed of being an ice skater when the winter Olympics were on, and I toyed with the idea of being a journalist. I considered different careers, but in my heart, I knew my greatest desire was to be a mom. And now I am. I'm the mom of two incredible human beings, and God has given me the desire of my heart. But man, is it ever hard. Before I gave birth, I knew exactly what kind of mom I would be. I'd be patient all the time, my house would always be tidy, and I'd be a phenomenal cook. But according to these standards, I'm actually a colossal failure. I lose my patience daily, my house looks like a tornado blew through, and my cooking would make Rachael Ray grimace. I am not the mom I thought I'd be, and I'm willing to bet you're not, either. I heard from a friend recently who said, "I always wanted kids and never...
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17.11.2016
Making Peace with the Life You Didn’t Plan
I know it isn't what you planned. The life you're living right now - the schedule you keep, the unexpected twists and turns, the dissatisfaction you feel - it isn't exactly what you pictured, is it? The child born with special needs. The child you're praying for but still haven't conceived. The job you lost without explanation. The husband who left and gave another his name. The bills you can't pay and the house you can't keep. The family that's imploding. The diagnosis that took your breath. It's not what you planned for, it's not what you prepared for, and it's certainly not what you prayed for. How do you move forward at all, much less with peace and joy, when the life you thought you'd have looks nothing like the one you live? How do you trust that God is good when everything feels so very bad? How do you set your mind on things above when the things nearby demand your time and attention? There is a way, but the way is never easy. It's never natural. It's never obvious. The way is through surrender. Deep down in our cores, we all know we aren't in control. We know we aren't the masters of our universe, and we know things will happen...
This blog post is inspired by the new book: Listen, Love, Repeat by Karen Ehman which releases today, November 15th! You can purchase a copy at http://listenloverepeatbook.com. I won't deny that I'm naturally selfish. When life is in constant motion and I'm just trying to make it through my days, I become all about me. My focus is on what makes me happy, what is most convenient for me, and what is easiest for my schedule. My gaze is fixed inward, and my actions reflect my heart. But my heart needs realignment. You see, as a Christ-follower, I no longer have the luxury of being all about myself. I can no longer be satisfied with being selfish, and I can no longer be consumed with what is convenient for me. This world is not my home, and this world is not about me. My focus must shift to the Savior of my soul, and my actions must show His love to His people. With the call to love others is the call to listen to their hearts, love them where they are, and repeat. In her new book, Listen, Love, Repeat: Other-Centered Living in a Self-Centered World, Karen Ehman teaches what love in action looks like in our very...
11.11.2016
A Letter to our Veterans
To all those who have served this country: I can't begin to imagine the sacrifices you've made for me, someone you've never met. I don't know what it's like to leave a comfortable life for difficult training or to face your mortality on a daily basis. I don't know how it feels to say goodbye to your family and friends, prayerful but unsure of whether you'll ever see them again. I can't imagine the physical discomforts you've endured or the anxiety that's plagued your mind. I also don't know what it's like to readjust to civilian life after coming home, a head full of images you can never describe and a heart full of stories you can never really explain. And I cannot fathom, for the life of me, how it feels to be rejected, abandoned, and ignored by the countrymen you fought to keep free. Or what it's like to need care and rehabilitation but be denied those things. I don't know what it's like to be you. But I will not let my ignorance prevent my gratitude. You, sir and ma'am, are heroes in every sense of the word. You have forsaken yourself and put others first, risking all you value for all we value. You are selfless...
Oh, God, the divide in our country has not caught you off guard. You are not surprised, and you are not powerless. Across this land, some people are hurting, protesting, and afraid. Others are jubilant, excited, and celebrating. The images on my television show people weeping, people burning effigies, and people blocking roads. Words on my social media show people taunting, people cursing, and people fighting. It is a hard time in this country, Lord, and I'm sure hard times are still ahead. My prayer today, God, is for those of us who profess your name. My prayer is for Christians - little Christs - to represent you in the hurt and to reflect your love to those who feel hated. My prayer is for your people to act like your people. Here, God, is what I ask: Let our words be few, and let them be filled with grace. Let us think before we say or type anything, aware words have power and cannot be unspoken. Help us consider the perspectives of those with whom we disagree, never belittling or dismissing the concerns they may have. Let us do all we can, in our little circles, to be people of love and people of mercy. ...
07.11.2016
Why It’s OK to Unfollow People on Facebook
Social media can be so annoying. (I realize this may sound hypocritical because many of you got to this post through social media channels, but of course, I wasn't referring to myself. I am never annoying. Just ask my husband. He loves it when I put my ice cold feet on his back or when I forget to close the garage door or buy food for meals. Nope - never annoying. Just rainbows and butterflies around here.) Do you agree, though, that social media can stress you out and just plain get on your nerves? Last weekend, I attended a conference where one of the speakers made a simple statement that liberated so many people listening. She gave us all permission to unfollow people on social media. I almost stood up and applauded, because I have been doing this a LOT lately (election, anyone?) and it has been so freeing. Most of us are "friends" with people we aren't really friends with, and daily we're subjected to posts reminding us why we're not really friends. I'm not talking about people we disagree with, necessarily. I have a lot of friends (in real and virtual life) I share vastly different views from, but I still follow...
01.11.2016
Two Things You Need to Know Today
November is here, people, and I can hardly believe it. Maybe that's because it was 84 degrees yesterday and I had sweat running down my back as I walked from the parking lot to the car, but whatever. Stores have Christmas trees and carols are ringing, so the season is upon us. Before we get caught up in the end of the year rush, there are two things I want you to know today, both of which will benefit you. First, I have something to give you. If you don't know much of my story, the short version is that nearly 6 years ago, I went through an extremely painful time, one I wasn't sure I would make it through. My life was turned upside down, and for a very long time, pain was a constant companion. Slowly, I began to recover, and although it was the worst time of my life, it was also the period during which I learned the most about myself, God, and the purpose of pain. The gift I want to give you is a short e-book I've written called "Five Reasons to Embrace Painful Times." It's 18 pages full of the most important lessons I have learned about...
My son marched over after the post-game huddle, shoulders looking too broad in pads and white jersey. "That last touchdown for them? The ball didn't even cross the plane. It was only his head!" The outrage was clear in his voice, the disgust evident on his face. The scoreboard showed a final score of 35-13, a bitter loss bringing their overall record to a losing one. It's been a fun season, one in which he's learned a lot, but I think I've learned a lot, too. I've learned that my boy, the one who was 6 pounds at birth and wore preemie clothing home from the hospital, can be hit without breaking. I've learned he has an infinite capacity for playing Madden Mobile, and I've learned I can be one of those mamas yelling a little too loudly from the sidelines. But I've also learned that to my son, the world is black and white. The rules are the rules, and if you block him in the back, he's going to have something to say about it. If the ref misses a call, he's going to bring it up later. And by all means, if a touchdown is not really a touchdown, he's going to...
25.10.2016
I’m So Wrong So Much of the Time
Lord, Some days I feel like such a screw-up. I wake up wanting to stay in bed, sleeping away the minutes you've given me. I want to do what's comfortable for myself and what will bring me most satisfaction, all while forgetting you didn't make me for me. You made me for you. So God, I need to confess. I confess that most days I think more about myself than I ever think about you. Even in the work that you have given me, I look for ways to take myself higher. In the relationships you've gifted me, I look for ways to have my way be the way. In the life you have presented me, I make it all about myself. I confess that I spend far too much time thinking about what others think of me. I listen for their opinions while ignoring your truth. I repeat their praises and insults to myself, disregarding your words about who I truly am. I confess that my fears motivate me far more than my faith, and I quickly assume the worst of you rather than believing the best. When things don't go my way, I think, "It's because He doesn't love me" rather than "It's only...
20.10.2016
A Family the World Calls Broken
Sometimes I despise Christian radio. Don't get me wrong - my car radio is usually tuned to Christian stations, but I have moments when their talk shows come on and they sound so self-righteous I want to scream and change the dial. Recently, there happened to be an "expert" on families and marriage talking about "broken" families. You know, families like mine. Families who have experienced divorce and deal with remarriage and, in his eyes, need to be called "broken." (Side note - if you did not grow up in a "broken" family and have not experienced divorce yourself, are you really an expert? What do you authentically know about divorce? Can you really understand the experiences of step-parents and step-children? Your reading a book about it and looking at families like mine as a case study in your PhD program do not, in my eyes, make you an expert whose advice is more valuable than my experience. And your condescending tone and pitying banter leave MUCH to be desired. But I digress.) Good grief, what a term. "Broken" families. Listen. I understand. I understand that God's design is for one mother and one father to live together forever in holy matrimony and to raise their...