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  • What I Really Think When My Kids Misbehave

     

    In my house live a stubbornly independent 11 year old and a precociously rambunctious 10 year old. Add in two set-in-their-way 30-somethings, and you have a delightful recipe for some conflict.

    We’ve moved past the days of children flinging their food on the floor and splashing in the toilet for fun, and they’ve learned not to hit and bite, but they’re still kids. And that means occasional disobedience, rowdiness, and talking back. The kids act like kids sometimes, so that means they misbehave.

    And when they do, I feel exhausted and depleted. I feel defeated and ineffective, and I feel like I still – 11 years later – don’t have a clue what I’m doing.

    (Don’t ask me where I got the idea that raising children would be picturesque and easy – I grew up in a house with four children, and our lives were never reminiscent of Mary Poppins. I guess I thought my unrivaled mothering skills would raise children who were practically perfect in every way.)

    On the days my children do and say things I’d rather them not, this is what goes through my mind:

    • Um, for real? Have they not lived here their entire lives? Do they think the rules have changed?
    • Who do they think they are?
    • Where in the world did they hear that?
    • This is a joke, right? Where’s the hidden camera?
    • Is it too early to send them to bed? Is it illegal to send them to bed without any supper?
    • I have failed. I am a failure. I am the failingest failure in the history of motherhood.

     

    When my kids misbehave, what happens is that I momentarily lose my mind. I temporarily forget they are independent human beings with their own brains and their own wills, and I begin to see their behavior as an indictment of my mothering, not a result of their own choices.

    From before they were born, my kids had independent spirits. From the moment they breathed on this planet, they did what they wanted – not what I thought they should. They woke up when I thought they should sleep, they spit out what I thought they should eat, and they ate what poison control said they definitely should not.

    My kids picked out clothes that didn’t match, threw toys that were meant to stay on the ground, and repeated words not intended for toddlers. My kids showed from the beginning they are not here to acquiesce to my every wish. The purpose of their lives is not just to please me, and my approval of their behavior is not their highest aim.

    That’s tough to accept, isn’t it?

    As they’ve gotten older, they’ve become more obedient. They understand I’m looking out for them, and I think they’ve begun to learn my rules are for their own good. But that doesn’t mean they do everything I say, and that doesn’t mean their choices always align with what I ask of them. They are – and will always remain – creatures with the ability to choose, and sometimes their choices disappoint me. Sometimes they do things I expressly forbid, and sometimes they act the exact opposite of what I expect.

    Parenthood is so humbling.

    I was telling a friend recently how opposite my children’s personalities are, and since they’re only 15 months apart, I raised them in the exact same environment and with the exact same parenting style. Yet they could not be more different. The point? The way I raised them didn’t solely make them into who they are. They came to this planet with their personalities and preferences and idiosyncrasies intact, and while my parenting does impact them, it isn’t the sole factor in who they are and how they act.

    I don’t know if that gives you any relief, but it does me. It means I’m not always to blame when they act out. I’m not necessarily the failingest failure in the history of motherhood. It means they make decisions on their own, and sometimes they choose poorly. Just like I do.

    I often project my expectations for myself onto my unsuspecting children, and since I expect excellence for myself, it’s what I always want for them, too. I place my perfectionism on them, handing them a load too heavy for children to carry and expecting far more from them than any human can give.

    They’re kids. They’re learning how the world works, how people interact, and how they fit into it all. They’re testing out boundaries, understanding consequences, and making sense of their own impulses.

    Everything they do is not about me. Every choice they make is not a result of my training, and every decision of theirs isn’t connected to my parenting.

    When they misbehave, I don’t have to feel like a failure.

    Because it’s not always about me.

    Kids will mess up, act out, and make bad decisions. They’ll smart off, be irresponsible, and need lots and lots of correction. And when they do? We parents need to take a deep breath, take a step back, and take inventory of what’s really going on. We need to give ourselves a break, remind ourselves of the truth, and remember, “This too shall pass.”

     

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  • What I Learned Reading the Entire Bible This Year

     

    When the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, I will have read the entire Bible from beginning to end this year. I made the commitment to stick to it no matter what, and if the last few days of 2016 don’t throw me a crazy curve ball, I will have done it.

    I’m not some kind of super-Christian, and every day hasn’t been a gloriously amazing experience where I heard angelic choirs singing as I read.

    Some days, I wanted to skip it. In some books (Leviticus anyone?), I wanted to pull my hair out. I seriously looked at my husband some days and said things like, “I cannot read one more genealogy. I don’t care who begat whom. Why do I need to know the dimensions of this building? How do you pronounce Beninu?”

    There were days I got frustrated. Times I began to daydream. Moments when I questioned if there was any application to my life.

    But now that I’m nearly finished, I’m so glad I stuck to the task.

    Here are some things I learned while reading the entire Bible this year:

    • It’s not like reading any other book. Duh, I know, but the app I used skipped around sometimes, and there wasn’t a narrative that held my attention from beginning to end like Gone Girl or To Kill a Mockingbird. The Bible isn’t a book – it’s a collection of books, and reading it requires a different approach from the reading I typically do. I kept having to remind myself to focus in a different way.
    • It is really hard to read the whole Bible in a year. Y’all, the Bible is a complex thing, and it’s not written on a third-grade reading level like the news articles I consume each day. There’s a lot I don’t understand from a cultural perspective, and there’s a lot I don’t get because I’m not a Biblical scholar. Yes, the Bible is meant for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s available for the common man while being simultaneously challenging for the brightest among us.
    • Committing to this task required a lot of discipline. Some days I read early in the mornings, and some days life pushed my reading until after I got in the bed. Some days I read in the car line picking up my kids, and some days I read tailgating at college football games. (True story.) Just like with anything we want to do for God, Satan will try to distract and defeat us. There’s nothing he hates more than us knowing and applying Scripture to our lives, so he launches a full-out assault on our plans to read the Bible.
    • The app I used helped me stay on track, but I really prefer using a physical copy of the Bible. I’m one of those people who underlines and takes notes when I read, and when I do this again, I will definitely use my trusty old Bible instead of my phone.
    • I’m super glad I live in AD instead of BC. Maybe I’m selfish, but I am so happy I can pray for forgiveness rather than take a pigeon to the temple to atone for my sin.
    • Reading the Bible is an exercise in futility if you don’t pray for revelation. There were some days when I approached the Word with a checklist mentality, a desire to get it done and an attitude of “let’s see what this says today.” When I neglected to ask God to speak through his word, I read it without hearing from him. Every single time.
    • Reading the Bible in a year should not replace other types of Bible study and devotion. I still think it’s important to dive deeply into Scripture, which is typically not part of a 365 day reading plan.
    • God really, really loves people. Over and over I read stories about people disobeying and doing things that should have disappointed God, but He gave them second chances and forgiveness they didn’t deserve. Every single page speaks of God’s ridiculous love for his people, and every day I was reminded of what I have that I don’t deserve.
    • I take for granted the right to even have a Bible (OK, multiple Bibles). Reading it every day gave me a new appreciation for the fact I have access to it every day. For so much of my life I kept it dusty on a shelf, but immersing myself in it daily made me grateful for the gift it is.
    • God doesn’t love you more if you read the Bible every day. (And he doesn’t love you less if you don’t.) Yes, I’m glad I disciplined myself, and I’m happy I can say I read the whole thing this year, but my standing in God’s eyes hasn’t changed.

     

    So there you have it – the Bible in a year. It can be done, and I did it. Let me encourage you to try it for yourself if you never have. I used the YouVersion app plan called “The Bible in a Year,” and every day I read from the Old Testament, the New Testament, and a chapter from Psalms or Proverbs every other day. It’s manageable enough to be completed, but challenging enough to keep you on your toes.

    Spiritual discipline should mark the life of a believer, and the discipline of studying God’s Word is one I can vouch for firsthand.

     

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  • 30 Reasons I’m a Really Bad Mom

     

    I tell myself I’m a really bad mom because:

     

    1. I don’t make homemade bread for my children’s lunches.
    2. I didn’t deliver my children naturally or without drugs.
    3. I don’t feed them only organic food.
    4. I don’t use only natural cleaning products in our home.
    5. I let them watch TV so I can have a moment’s peace.
    6. When they ask if they can have a silly string fight, I say no because I don’t want to clean up the mess.
    7. When they ask if they can have ice cream after school and before supper, I say yes because I’m too tired to care.
    8. I don’t force them to make their beds every morning.
    9. I make them wear the same pants two days in a row because I forget to turn on the dryer sometimes.
    10. I sit on the couch and ask them to bring me a drink.
    11. I forget to move the stupid elf.
    12. I make them clean their own toilets.
    13. I don’t give them an allowance.
    14. I don’t check their homework unless they ask for help.
    15. I only breastfed 50% of them.
    16. I let them sleep on their bellies as babies.
    17. I let my son stay up past his bedtime to watch football games.
    18. I yell at my daughter for leaving her wet towel on the floor. Again.
    19. I only let Santa bring 4 gifts for them each year (want, need, wear, read).
    20. I told Santa he cannot bring them a phone.
    21. I told my crying child at a sports practice to suck it up or we were going home.
    22. I told one child not to tell the other child we went out to eat without her.
    23. I will let laundry sit in a child’s room for weeks without putting it away because he has arms and I’ll wash it but won’t it put away and I have bigger fish to fry.
    24. I don’t buy them name brand clothes for the sake of having name brand clothes.
    25. I don’t feel guilty for going out of town without them.
    26. I forget to send school party items I sign up to send in.
    27. I tell them to fix their own cereal and turn on cartoons and let me sleep in on Saturday mornings.
    28. I don’t make Pinterest-worthy presents for their teachers.
    29. I say no a lot more than I say yes.
    30. I use the old mom line, “Because I said so. That’s why.”

     

    But today I’m reminding myself I’m a pretty good mom simply because:

     

    1. I love them.

     

    What did I leave out? What would you add?

     

     

  • Twelve Gift Ideas for Book Lovers

     

    If you’re looking for gift ideas for a book lover this Christmas, look no further! Here’s a list of books I have loved. (Some were released this year, and some are oldies but goodies.)

    Fiction Choices:

    • Sue Monk Kidd’s The Invention of Wings – I could not put this one down! Historical fiction centered around slavery in Charleston.
    • Kelli Estes’s The Girl Who Wrote in Silk – historical fiction about a Chinese girl’s secrets. Fascinating. Page-turner. Loved it.
    • Kristin Hannah’s The Nightingale – historical fiction in WWII. I have told everyone I’ve ever met to read this book. Believe me when I say it’s amazing.
    • Fredrik Backman’s A Man Called Ove – an old man alienates and endears his neighbors. I still can’t believe how much I liked this one!
    • Kristin Hannah’s Winter Garden – the story of sisters who learn about their mother’s past when they come together to care for their dying father.

     

    Nonfiction Favorites:

    • Jerry Sittser’s A Grace Disguised – perfect for someone who has faced a tragedy and needs a reminder of hope. I wept while reading it.
    • Jessica Turner’s The Fringe Hours – for those busy moms who can’t find time for themselves. Super practical tips.
    • Sarah Bessey’s Jesus Feminist – The subtitle says it all: Exploring God’s Radical Notion That Women Are People, Too. (Yes, and amen.)
    • Leeana Tankersley’s Brazen – encourages women to step out of shame into who they were created to be. Challenging and convicting.
    • Christa Black Gifford’s Heart Made Whole – explores how the death of her infant daughter taught her about the true Healer.

     

    If you’re looking for other gift ideas for readers, check these out:

    • Handmade leather journal – my husband bought me one of these and I love it!
    • Bookmark clips – these are practical and adorable. If you know someone who hates dog-earing their pages, buy them some of these!

     

    Disclosure: affiliate links are used in this post.

  • Two More Books On Sale Now!

     

    Hey, everyone! I wanted to jump on here really quickly and let you know about two books that are currently a great price on Amazon.

    The first is a new favorite of mine, Grace for the Good Girl by Emily P. Freeman. This ebook is on sale for only $1.99! If you haven’t read it, don’t let this great price pass you by. (And if you don’t have a Kindle or e-reader, don’t worry. You can download the free Kindle app on any device, including your computer, and read it from there. Super easy.)

    Another one I wanted to tell you about is a new ebook by a new friend of mine! Cheryl Cannon has written a sweet little book called The Best Three Bucks You Will Spend This Christmas, and it’s all about how to make holiday gatherings with your family a little more meaningful. You’ll love Cheryl’s voice.

    Great prices for these – let me know what you think of them!

     

    Disclosure – affiliate links are included in this post.

  • Why My American Way of Life Bothers Me Sometimes

     

    Before you get outraged by the headline and assume I’m bashing being an American – don’t. I love being an American. I get misty-eyed at football games when 80,000 people pledge allegiance to the flag and fighter jets fly over. I vote proudly (if hesitantly like this November), and I cried when I bought a soldier coffee the other day. So please don’t assume I’m unpatriotic or say I should move to another country.

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    But I was scrolling through social media this morning (mistake number one), and I had a sudden realization that being American allows us to be ridiculous in ways others around the world don’t have the luxury of being. I watch the evening news every day (I’ve turned into my father for whom the world stopped at 6:30 pm), and I know of the world’s wars, famines, and threats. I follow organizations that try to stop human trafficking, and I give money to relief organizations that feed and educate the poorest children. My Instagram feed shows me every day the life-threatening, desperate situations people are facing. But it also shows me how self-absorbed and hypocritical I am.

    How are we Americans ridiculous? Consider these examples:

    • we spend money on pine cones that smell like cinnamon. We buy pine cones. Scented like cinnamon. All while people are being bought and sold as sex slaves.
    • 67% of us pay for monthly gym memberships we never use. When children have distended bellies from starvation.
    • we entertain ourselves within an inch of our lives and allow ourselves the luxury of turning our eyes from the homeless people holding signs en route to the concerts we attend.
    • we buy Christmas presents for our dogs when our neighbors can’t pay the medical bills for their sick children.
    • we proudly display Nativity scenes in our homes but disobey the Christ who said to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and care for widows and orphans.

     

    I am the guiltiest of all, so don’t think I’m pointing a finger at you. I just bought a cream to fade the freckles on my face, and I threw away food yesterday that rotted because we didn’t eat it in time (and because it was vegetables, and the potato chips seemed like a better choice).

    I love Jesus, but I am such a ridiculous hypocrite sometimes. I know he doesn’t ask us all to take a vow of poverty, live in a one-room shanty, or own nothing beautiful. He is a Creator himself, and I know he takes delight in the handmade nativity on my table. I know the beauty we create in our homes can point to the beauty he creates. But his commands are crystal clear, and they clearly say to love others as ourselves. And if I choose to decorate my home with scented pine cones but fail to feed someone I know is hungry, I’m clearly loving myself more than I love others.

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    Do you ever feel burdened by the sharp dichotomy between the choices you make and the beliefs you profess? Do you ever look around and realize you consistently choose what you want over what others need? Do you ever realize in moments of acute clarity that your life does not scream “self-sacrifice” like it should?

    Gosh, I do, particularly at this time of year. The needs I see are so obvious, and so is my own wastefulness. My own selfishness. My own disobedience.

    It’s not wrong for Christians to decorate their homes, and it’s not sinful to buy your dog a toy. But it is wrong to set your heart and hope on those things while neglecting what God values most – people. It is wrong to consider yourself and ignore others. It is wrong to assume someone else will help them so you can help yourself.

    And I’m guilty of all of those at times.

    I’ve been a Christian for over half my life now, and rather than it getting easier, I find it’s getting infinitely harder. The more sensitive I am to the Holy Spirit, the more convicted I am by my decisions. The more I learn of God’s word, the more I realize how far away I am from living it. The more I get to know Jesus, the more I realize how I’m not like him.

    Maybe it’s not being an American that makes me act ridiculous. Maybe it’s being blessed. Maybe it’s having financial security. Maybe it’s being born sinful and wallowing in that reality every day.

    I want my life to glorify God. But I fear I’m so focused on pleasing myself I don’t realize how little glory He gets.

    I’m taking an inventory of my life these days. Not writing down what possessions I own, but really taking stock of where my heart is. I’m looking at what matters to me, and I’m questioning if my lifestyle is acceptable to my God.

    I’m not condemning myself for my poor past choices, but I’m also not giving myself a pass. I’m trying to be brutally honest with myself. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who does God say for me to be?

    We all make ridiculous choices. There’s no denying that, and there’s no way to be perfectly selfless all the time. But there is a way to be selfless more often, and that’s what I’m after. That’s what I’m choosing. I’m hopeful I can still decorate my home doing it, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

     

  • Three Books I Read in Four Days (That You Should Read, Too!)

     

    I love to read, and while I typically choose nonfiction, I just read three fiction books in four days that I want to recommend to you. They’re all super entertaining, and I couldn’t put any of them down. I read them on my Amazon Kindle app (which you can download onto any device for completely free! If you have your phone, then you always have a book to read when you’re waiting somewhere).

    1. The Good Girl by Mary Kubica. Oh. My. Goodness. If you liked Gone Girl and love thrillers, you’ve got to read this one. I could not put it down! Mia, the main character, returns home from being kidnapped with no memory of what happened and a new identity – she only knows herself as Chloe. Her well-known father, a judge, and her beautiful mother try to uncover what happened to Mia during the months she was gone, and throughout the discovery process, the book moves from one character’s perspective to another and back in forth in time. You will not see what’s coming – this I can promise you!
    2. The Wonder by Emma Donoghue. (The author of Room, if you’ve read that one, too. Very good but completely different from The Wonder). The Wonder is about a young girl named Anna who seems to have survived for four months with no food. Everyone in her Irish village considers her a wonder, a miracle of God. To prove the miracle Anna is, a committee from her village brings in two women, a nurse and a nun, to watch her around the clock and prove there’s no deceit. The story is told from the perspective of Lib, the nurse, who was trained by Florence Nightingale.I stayed up well past midnight reading this one. I kept believing things I knew I shouldn’t believe, and I kept changing my mind about which characters I could trust. It was a page turner, a book I highly recommend if you need a mental escape that will challenge you.
    3. The Two Family House by Lynda Cohen Loigman. Brothers Mort and Abe own a business together and share a house along with their families. Abe’s family lives upstairs and Mort’s downstairs, and although their wives begin the book as best friends, the years and a secret slowly pull them apart. In the book, you follow the family throughout their lives, and characters you think you know reveal truths you didn’t see coming. I loved this book and was slightly perturbed by the ending (although I understand completely why the author ended it as she did). Again, a great read!

     

    Let me know if you read (or have read) any of these. I’d love to hear your recommendations, too!

    Have you joined my email list yet? If not, click here to sign up and receive a FREE gift!

     

  • For When You Feel Ugly, Fat, and Stupid

     

    Maybe I’m the only one who has days where I feel ugly, fat, and stupid. But I’m guessing if you arrived at this post, you probably feel that way too.

    Some days, for no particular reason at all, I wake up in the morning and just feel blah. Inferior. Incapable. Unable to move past the voices lying to my heart.

    Ugly.

    Fat.

    Stupid.

    I try not to compare myself to other women, and I avoid the ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ game as much as I can. But my enemy knows where I’m most vulnerable, and my Achilles heel is not feeling good enough. My weakness is wondering whether I’m doing enough and whether I myself am enough. So that’s where he attacks. His plan to defeat me often involves degrading my appearance, and he’s done it since I was 12. I know this about him, but knowing doesn’t always prevent believing.

    Where does Satan attack you? Maybe he doesn’t tell you you’re ugly, fat, or stupid, but maybe he tells you you’re a terrible wife. A distant mother. A sub-par business owner. Maybe he whispers that your personality is boring, or your giftedness is a joke. Maybe he reminds you of a decision you made eight years ago, or perhaps he whispers fears to project into your future.

    One thing I’m sure of, though? He’s whispering, and you’re listening.

    Did you know that listening doesn’t mean you must agree? Did you know that hearing a lie doesn’t mean accepting it as truth?

    Sometimes I forget. 

    Right now, think of one whisper you’ve taken to heart. Just one. There are probably more, and you can name them later. But for now, focus on the loudest lie and bring it to the light.

    Here’s what I want you to say about it:

    Satan, you say I am _____, but God says that in Jesus, I am the righteousness of God (2 Cor.5:21). This means that despite how you want me to feel, my reality is that I’m accepted by my Maker. I am cleansed by my Creator. I am made new by my Redeemer.

    Satan, you want me to feel ______, but God says, “Do not be afraid, for I am with you” (Isaiah 41:10). My feelings are strong, but my faith is stronger, and my faith is in the One who will never leave me. I’m rejecting the fear you’re trying to make me feel, and I’m choosing instead to focus on the presence of Christ in me.

    Satan, you point out my ____, but God only sees me as “a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession…” (1 Peter 2:9). I am deeply flawed, but I am miraculously chosen.

    Friends, if you’re hurting and feeling inadequate in who you are, can I remind you that you have nothing to prove? God has not asked you to be enough of anything. He has not demanded that you look a certain way, have a certain IQ, or succeed in everything you try. He has asked you simply to confess him, follow him, and share him. These are the things that really matter, and your enemy will do all he can to distract you from their supreme importance. He will attack wherever you are most vulnerable to prevent you from being greatly used.

    Don’t give him that pleasure. Don’t let him have his way.

    When difficult days come and lies are loudly ringing, combat them with truth. Remind Satan of his defeat, and remind yourself of your truth. You are loved. You are new. You are forever God’s.

     

     

  • Encouragement for the Mom Who Regrets What She Said

     

    When I learned my second pregnancy was with a little girl, I immediately had visions of tutus and hairbows. Parenting up to that point had consisted of Tonka trucks and John Deere tractors, so the thought of dressing up a little girl fascinated me. I left the ultrasound and went straight to the store, needing to buy something pink and prissy to hang in her closet.

    Today, that little girl is nearly 10 years old, and although I dressed her in pink and placed the biggest bows I could find on her tiny baby head, she did not turn out to be a prissy girl. She is athletic and strong, and she would rather wear running shorts and t-shirts than dresses and tights.

    Her dark brown hair cascades down her back, and a ponytail has become her signature look. But that dark brown ponytail has become the biggest argument-inducer between the two of us. She hates to condition it, hates to dry it, and hates to brush it. If she had her way, her hair would always air dry and be full of tangles and knots. We’ve gone around and around about it, and every night I find myself asking, “Have you brushed your hair yet?” I always know the answer.

    After a busy night recently of her gymnastics practice and her brother’s football activities, we rushed to eat dinner, make lunches, take showers, and get everyone ready for bed. It wasn’t until I tucked her in that I noticed her hair. Unbrushed. Wet. Tangled.

    I wish I could say I handled it calmly, but I didn’t. I was tired and harried, and I let my frustration over her actions direct my handling of the situation. I fussed. I criticized. And I made her cry.

    “I’m sorry,” she tearfully apologized, adding, “I’m so mad at myself.”

    And in that moment, I became mad at myself, too.

    To continue reading, click here. I’m honored to be guest posting at faithfulsparrow.com

  • The Gifts to Be Found in Seasons of Waiting

     

    Sometimes our lives feel like quicksand. What we thought was solid ground turns out not to be so solid, and it unexpectedly grabs us and pulls us down. No matter how much we struggle to escape, we continue to sink. We want to get out more than anything, but we’re stuck. We are trapped in circumstances beyond our control, and there seems to be no obvious solution.

    Where are you stuck today?

    In a job you hate?

    With a spouse you can’t change?

    In a financial crisis you caused but can’t solve?

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    Maybe there’s no external situation trapping you – maybe you’re stuck in your own thoughts. Maybe you’re trapped in a cycle of self-hatred and depression. Worry and anxiety. Condemnation and doubt.

    Maybe your life is a combination of internal and external traps. I’ve certainly been there.

    It feels hopeless, doesn’t it? Like you’ll be there forever, and there’s no way out. Every second drags by, and you look around at everyone moving freely while your own feet are in chains. You’d do anything for a change, but you’ve tried everything that didn’t work.

    You literally have no control, and there’s nothing you can do but wait. You are at God’s mercy, and you pray He will remember to show you some mercy.

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    I want to share a simple truth with you today if you’re feeling stuck: Your today is not your forever.

    Your today is simply the space you occupy in this moment, and though it may not be what you planned or what you desire, it is a gift.

    That sounds so glass-half-full, doesn’t it? It sounds like a feel-good message from a Pollyanna personality. But it is true, and I know because I’ve lived it.

    Your today is a gift that needs to be opened. There is something valuable and precious enclosed in it, and unless you discover it, your today will continue to repeat into tomorrow. Gifts are always meant to be unwrapped, handled, and appreciated. Your task in your today, even if you currently hate it, is to unwrap it – handle it – and appreciate it. It doesn’t have to be fun or desirable to be valuable in your life.

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    When you’re feeling stuck, you have to listen to reality instead of emotion. Your feelings will tell you that nothing will change, you will feel this way forever, and everyone is happy except you. Your feelings will tell you your life is over, your future is bleak, and you are at the mercy of your circumstances.

    Your feelings will lie, so you must replace them with truth.

    What is the truth when you’re feeling stuck?

    • “Many are saying of me, ‘God will not deliver him.’ But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. I call out to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side” (Psalm 3:2-6).
    • “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope… In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials” (1 Peter 1:3-6).
    • “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” (Psalm 147:11).
    • “…we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character, and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).

     

    The truth is that you are not stuck alone, you are not stuck forever, and you are not stuck without purpose. You are stuck with God’s presence, you are stuck only for a while, and you are stuck for a reason.

    The question becomes, then, what will your response be?

    Will you say, “Lord, show me,” or will you only ask, “Lord, deliver me”?

    Will you say, “This is terrible,” or will you say, “This must be necessary”?

    Will you pray, “God, use this to change me,” or will you only pray, “God, change this situation”?

    Our responses in the stuck times will reveal the status of our hearts and determine where we go next. If we only want deliverance, we are unwilling to admit God can use anything for our good. If we only complain, we prove our hearts aren’t content unless things go our way. If we don’t ask for revelation, we show our pride in the knowledge we already possess.

    Please don’t misunderstand. I am not telling you that stuck is where you should stay or that you have to love where you currently are. But I am reminding you that nothing in your life is accidental or lacking God’s involvement. Everything in your life matters for God’s kingdom and your role in it. Even seasons of stuck-ness.