My daughter hates it when my husband kisses me. Or hugs me. Or dances with me in the kitchen.
She huffs in exasperation and always tries to climb between us, saying, “No! My Mommy!”
She pushes us apart, rolling her eyes, and is completely disgusted by our physical affection.
We think it’s hilarious. (So naturally we do it on purpose and make sure she’s watching.)
I hope it’s always like this, with her trying to weasel her way between us as we snuggle and pretending to vomit when we kiss. I’m not sure there’s much more I want her to remember from her childhood than that the adults in her house loved each other greatly.
My daughter is a child of divorce, and I worry so much about how it will affect her. She was small when it happened, and she and her brother have been incredibly resilient so far. She doesn’t remember much from when her dad and I were married, but she’s going to remember everything about her stepdad and me. So we’re doing all we can to make her memories good ones – including grossing her out when we kiss.
I didn’t grow up in a demonstrably affectionate family, and I want my kids to know physical affection. I hug and kiss them, tousle their hair, and scratch my son’s back every night as we pray. I count the freckles on their cheeks and give them five as they walk by, and I tickle them when I get the chance. My daughter still sits in my lap (though she’s getting too heavy), and the kids see my husband hold my hand.
I want my children to know that love is an action, not just a word, and that when we love there is always visible evidence. I want them to feel security in the relationships they see, and I want them to grow up never doubting love filled their home. I want them to understand that their stepdad and I aren’t just parents raising them, but we’re partners who love each other deeply, too. I want them to see an example of a man who’s unashamed to show his love, and thankfully they’re seeing that in our home.
Does my daughter get grossed out? Yep. Do I silently giggle when she does?
Every day.
We are not a perfect family, and I’m definitely not a perfect mom. But we love each other fiercely, and love covers a multitude of wrongs.
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