So you found out your friend is going through a divorce. She may have called you herself, or you may have heard through the grapevine that her marriage is ending, as half of all do.As a friend, you want to be there, but you're unsure of what that means. Do you call? Do you ask how she is?Just what is it she really needs?My own divorce is now years old, but whenever I hear of another marriage crumbling, my heart is quickened to the needs I had back then, and my deepest desire is to give what is really needed. No, not every person facing divorce is the same, but I believe there are universal needs that most who are divorcing share. (I'm writing from the female perspective since it is my own.)What She Needs:She needs you. More than she has ever needed you before, she needs your presence in her life. Divorce often costs people friendships, for reasons understandable and varied. Sometimes friends are mutual between the two who are divorcing, and sometimes they are forced to choose sides. Sometimes people just don't know how to be a friend for a person whose life is suddenly different. A loss...

I tell my students all the time, "Guys, listen. I've been where you're going. I've been to 10th grade English, and I know what they expect you to know. I've been to the SAT, and I know what you have to be able to do. I've been to college, and I know that the quality you're turning in now won't cut it then." I tell them I've been there because they need to know I'm trustworthy. They need to know my methods aren't haphazard but are preparing them for what's to come. They need to know my knowledge of their yet-to-come determines my actions in their happening-right-now. They need to know, and so do I.I need to know my God is trustworthy. I need to know His methods aren't haphazard, and I need to know His knowledge of my yet-to-come determines His actions in my happening-right-now.It's so tempting and natural for me to forget God knows. He knows what was and is, and most comfortingly, He knows what will be. The future is past to Him, and He is not limited by the space and time that bind me. Nothing I face surprises His heart, and everything I face passes...

Fourteen years ago, I taught my first group of students, and recently I gave some advice to a practicum student under my supervision. Poor guy - he probably doesn't realize that classroom experience doesn't qualify me as an expert or even mean I halfway feel confident in what I'm doing.Nonetheless, I decided to compile a list of my best advice. If you're a new teacher, here you go. I'm hitting you with my best shot:1. Forget approximately 56% of everything your university just taught you. It's theoretical methodology that only holds water in ideal conditions with high-achieving, issue-less students. The students you face will not follow the formula, and each must be treated individually. There is no "one size fits all" method for your wee ones. Take bits and pieces of the best theories and combine them with your teacher's intuition. A teacher's gut is better than an untried theory any day.2. Remember Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. If your kids are hungry, exhausted, or stressed from their parents' all night screaming fests, they can't learn. Period. Fix what you can and love them through what you can't. If their basic needs aren't being met, your love will have a much...

There's been a whole lot of this in my life lately.My firstborn - my 6 pound baby boy - is tackling and being tackled. He owns a helmet and knows about defensive plays, and I have to watch as boys built like men drive him to the ground.Needless to say, my prayer life has changed.He loves football, but this is his first year. Most of the other guys have been out there before, so he's had a lot of making up to do. He's had to learn positions and plays, and he also has what we'll call a significant size deficit. (He's a year younger than everybody on his team, so the poor kid is easy to pick out of the crowd.)At this week's game, though, this happened.He got one of the two golden game coins. After each game, the coaches choose both an offensive and defensive player to receive recognition. And my baby boy got one.Now, listen. He didn't score a touchdown. He didn't catch a pass. He didn't do anything for which his name would be in lights.He just did his assignment.He was told to block, so he blocked. Play after play, every time he was in, he...

A Prayer as Our 21 Day Fast Ends:"God, we've been through a lot these past 21 days. There have moments of enlightenment, times of frustration, and nonstop reliance on you. It's not easy to give up things that are such a normal part of life on this planet, and whether it was food or Facebook, substances or sleep, we all set aside something to hear from you more. We all abstained from something to grow closer to our Sustainer. As this time of deliberate separation from the world comes to a close, we pray that the real results are only beginning. We ask, God, that what you began in us during these 21 days will grow and multiply in ways we cannot imagine. Many of us were praying specific prayers, and we ask you to show us the specific answers we seek. Many of us were looking for breakthroughs, and we ask you to show us the paths we couldn't see before.Add captionBut we're also praying something else, God, and we're courageously asking it. We're asking you to show us both something about ourselves and something about you that we didn't even know would come through this time. We're asking...

I had an argument with God today over trash, and He won.Shocking.I was innocently walking to my car after work, juggling three bags across the parking lot (because who doesn't need three bags full of stuff you won't actually work on over the weekend even though you tell yourself you will?).And there it was. A piece of trash. Plastic littering the serene asphalt landscape. nycography.weebly.comI saw it and had that thought we all have: "I should pick that up." And then I had the other thought we all have: "Nope. Not mine. And my hands are full."So I loaded all the bags of good intentions into the mom van and intended to head on my merry way. That's when I heard it. No, not the James Earl Jones voice of God booming from heaven. The quiet whisper of God in my spirit. "Go back and pick that up. Right now."I didn't want to. I wanted to blast the air conditioning in that van and drive away and enjoy the beginning of my weekend. I wanted to let someone else's trash be someone else's problem. But I couldn't. So I didn't. The thing about God is that He's not bossy, but He's...

Today continues our 21 day series on setting ourselves apart for Christ.Do you ever just need a time-out from your life? Do you ever wish you could press pause and freeze the action around you while you catch up?Time is in short supply for many of us, and a 24 hour day just doesn't cut it (if you really feel that sleeping is necessary).So much is asked of us that it sometimes seems impossible - truly not realistic - to get it all done and still maintain sanity.Here's what I've discovered about time.First - you cannot do it all. There really is a limit on your time, and only you can know how much is too much. Learn to say "no" and be unapologetic about it. The Lord has given you the ability to discern what is realistic and what is crippling. Ask Him, listen, and don't be afraid to turn down what you cannot do.Second - time spent with people is always better than time spent on tasks. I am a list maker, and I can create tasks to do like nobody's business. Tasks are important and often must be done, but your friends and family need to take...

Sometimes I wonder if Christians are irrelevant to the unbelieving world because we remove ourselves so far from it.We recite one of our favorites, that we are to be in the world and not of it, and yes, that is true. But while we're in the world we can't just sit back on our velvety cushioned pedestals and rain down judgment and condemnation. We can't see the problems plaguing very real people and rest on our laurels.What does it say of our faith when we have every comfort the American Dream can provide but our brothers and sisters around the globe are slaughtered for the very same faith? What message do we send when scores of refugees are fleeing imminent death, but we refuse them aid? What is revealed of our God when His people are best known for rejection, isolation, and materialism? What message does the world see when churches squabble with each other over minor issues such as contemporary music versus traditional hymns (and we do so by passively aggressively posting articles on Facebook rather than having actual conversations with actual people)?People - real people - are starving to death and dying of preventable diseases and are being...

Setting Ourselves Apart by Showing Why God is GoodShouldn't Christians be the most joy-filled people on the planet? As people who have been plucked from the very pit of destruction, we have the greatest reason ever to face this world with rejoicing. Yet, for many, a permanent scowl and judgmental finger are the hallmarks, not unending joy.Instead of shining light into darkness, we cast blame. Instead of welcoming with open arms, we reject with condemnation. Rather than being the hands and feet of Jesus, we speak words He never said.If we truly want to set ourselves apart in a world that needs the Lord, we must start by showing why Jesus is desirable. Lives that only testify to what's wrong with the world don't testify to the grace of God. Yes, it's easy and natural to see the negatives. Yes, it takes conscious effort to bite our tongues when judgmental words come so easily. But if we really want others to want our God, we have to remember that we are His representatives and that our behavior reflects on Him. Make up your mind today that your life tomorrow will reflect your God....

In our 21 day journey of setting ourselves apart for Christ, I'll be sharing prayers we can ask individually and corporately. Today's will be a prayer of thanksgiving.Today's Prayer: "Today, Lord, I woke up far better off than the vast majority of the world. I have more than enough food to nourish me, shelter to protect me from the elements, and people whose priority is to love me rather than take advantage of me. I have the ability to work a job and provide for my children, and I have the right to speak what I believe to be true. Most importantly, though, I know You. I have been told of your love, and I have been taught your word. I am able to worship you with no fear, and your Word is not forbidden in my hands. I have more things to be thankful for than I could list, and I'm choosing to pause right now and simply say thank you. Thank you, Lord, for material provisions and tangible gifts. Thank you for people whose aim is to protect and cherish me. Thank you, Jesus, that I know your name and have experienced your grace. In all of my...